Is Teaching Social Skills the Right Approach for Autistic Kids? Insights for Parents of Neurodiverse Children
Empowering Social Skills for Autistic Kids: Navigating a Neurodiverse World with Confidence
Social skills coaching for Autistic children has come under scrutiny in the last decade as Autistic voices have amplified the harmful mental health effects of masking. As a result, many health related professionals have experienced a reckoning in their fields related to if, how, and what, is the best way to support Autistic and other neurodiverse individuals with social skills development. The crux is figuring out a way to provide affirming care while the "rule book" is still in development. As a part-time school based speech langauge pathologist, I have found it even more challenging. Figuring out a way to navigate special education eligibility and support (largely a medical model of disability process), from a social model of disability lens, can feel like swimming upstream. I recognize that Autistic and neurodiverse children benefit from universal accommodations and environmental changes, and their differences do not always require special education identification or direct support.
Here is what I know, therapy can be a powerful tool for good, helping children and young adults navigate social interactions in domains where mastery of social skills are highly valued. In a neuro-affirming approach to support, it’s crucial to emphasize that the "just right" skills are not about changing who they are but equipping them with strategies they can choose to use whenever they find it beneficial. These skills serve as a resource—something they can carry in their back pocket, ready to be used on their own terms.
Balancing Social Expectations and Autistic Experiences
There is an ongoing discussion about whether teaching social skills to Autistic children promotes conformity to societal expectations that may not always be affirming. However, it’s important to recognize that many Autistic children wish to experience friendship and closeness and also need support in understanding how to achieve this in a way that aligns with their own world experiences. Providing affirming social skills coaching can help them navigate social interactions without compromising their identity, allowing them to build relationships on their own terms.
You might be wondering at this point, how do you do this we an 8, 9, 10, 16-year-old? At NEST we focus on building self-awareness. Specifically:
Learn about unique communication styles
Learn about communication preferences
Understand our unique sensory profiles
Explore environments that feel safe and affirming
Figure out what our boundaries are and where you might be willing to push those to make growth
Beyond individual or even small group intervention, at NEST we emphasize a collaborative approach that also focuses on educating educators and parents on how to teach children in schools and at home about different types of minds and communication styles. By doing so, we can promote empathy and understanding, helping to build a more inclusive global community where the responsibility doesn't solely fall on Autistic children to adapt. While it's important for Autistic children to learn how to navigate social settings, it’s equally vital for the community to adapt and become more inclusive. The burden should not fall solely on the Autistic individual to change or conform. Increasing environmental and social understanding across communities is key to fostering acceptance of neurological differences. By building spaces that welcome all, we can create a world where people are not just tolerate but live in harmony with one another.
Empathy as a Foundation for Stronger Communities
We can build stronger, more understanding communities by respecting all forms of human experience, including communication. Empathy is the cornerstone of this effort, fostering connections across different communication styles and neurological profiles. As someone whose social communication feels intuitive in this world, I recognize that this is NOT typical, that I am not the rule. l am committed to supporting others who wish to be social on their own terms, and strive to be more authentic in my communicative interactions by valuing all forms of communication. By helping people find safe communities and build confidence, we at NEST can support individuals who want to navigate the world on their own terms.
Expanding the Conversation: Including People Who Stutter and the Neurodiverse Community
Social communication challenges extend beyond Autism, affecting those who stutter and the broader neurodiverse community, including individuals with ADHD and Dyslexia. These communication styles often diverge from societal expectations, leading to stigma and misunderstanding. Recognizing and respecting these differences is essential. By addressing the stigma and fostering a culture of acceptance, we can create environments where everyone feels valued and understood.
The Role of Private Practice in Social Language Support
When special education is not always the right way to identify a child who experiences the world differently, private practice can fill the need for social language support. Private practices offer individualized support without placing an educational disability label on the child. This approach not only helps the child develop necessary social skills but also acknowledges that environments like schools can be disabling for many students. By providing tailored support outside the confines of special education, private practices can help children navigate social situations more effectively while fostering a more inclusive understanding of their unique needs.
For those seeking guidance in understanding themselves or their children better, our services at NEST are designed to provide comprehensive support. Book a free consultation through our website to explore how we can help your family thrive.
